Status quo.

We had a patient die overnight. This is not unusual. I come back to the ICU every morning and someone has died. Of course I make a call. Its the same thing, families being thankful for what we have tried to do. Patients we try and make small changes in oxygenation or ventilation and hope we can support their blood pressure and heart rate. I see a squewed sample. I only see the most critical patients. The other patients that are at home or in the hospital, not intubated, I do not see. The patients I see, have failed high flow oxygen and have required intubation.. And so it makes me fearful, as it does all of the healthcare workers I have dealt with. We talk about feeling short of breath after having spent ten hours in N95 masks. We talk about how tired we are, unsure if we're tired because of all the hours we've worked or is it because we are infected. I feel foggy, have a headache, not sure why. So I'm going tomorrow on my day off to get a test. Knowing that the test is imperfect. Many people that actually have COVID, test negative. I'm likely paranoid, having seen so many sick patients, however, I'm getting a test tomorrow. That's all for now.